Window
by kokoro77
Summary: Looking out a window can be unfair at times. What you see through the glass can be pure and true, but when blurred by rain, bars, snow...the images become distorted. Axel felt tricked. Looking at Roxas had been like looking out a window. -AkuRoku, ahoy-


**Author's Note: happy holidays to you guys. i hope that your christmas/whatever y'all celebrate went well this year. i've had this idea in my head for a while, and i decided to finish typing it all out tonight. it's _sort of_ winter related, but i'll leave you to figure out how you wanna picture it, mkay?**

**again, there is akuroku involved. take it or leave it, ladies. X3**

**if you wanna understand the title, read the whole thing or be forced to be like: WHAT at the end of the story. get it? got it? good. XO**

* * *

_Date Started: 12/11/07_

Window

In all honesty, Axel was glad that he'd finally left that grimy white castle. Being on a mission for months wasn't his cup of tea. It was nice to be included and noticed by the Superior, with the exception when he asks you to actually _do_ something afterward. That was Axel's case...he'd fallen into another lame trap.

And for what? To get locked up in this jail cell? So, yes; he was glad that he'd completed a mission successfully, but wasn't the brightest of guys to come home to solitary confinement. And here he was hoping that he'd manage to _sleep_ for eight hours.

Lazily, he turned away from the purple bars to his right and crossed his toned arms over his slim chest. He resumed his trademark position with his back pressed against the wall and one ankle crossed over the other. Then, feeling suddenly very cold, he hung his head and shut his eyes with the annoying hum of the jail cell barrier ringing in his ears.

It didn't make sense. He was being _punished_ for doing something _right_.

At the moment he thought about it, a crazed smile crept on his face and he began chuckling to himself. His shoulders shook a bit and if the Dusks guarding him had bothered to pay attention, they would have thought that he was going insane. But they continued to swerve in place on either side of the tight cell, staring head on at the bleach white wall.

'You'd think that they'd get tired of being told what to do,' he thought as he shut his piercing green eyes once more.

Axel was pretty sure he hadn't fallen asleep, but for some reason when a sudden sound of contorting darkness broke the silence he jerked as if he'd been nodding. He blinked several times before hurriedly turning his head toward the bars. Beyond them, the Dusks twitched at the sudden corridor of darkness that had burst open before them.

"Oh, visitor, ey?" Axel joked, still keeping his same position as before. His eyes never lost sight of the black opening that appeared to be sucking in the light emitting from the white walls outside. And by the time he'd blinked once more, the corridor gave a forceful shake and shrunk back into the floor, revealing to him a hooded figure clothed in the same Organization cloak as him.

Axel's smirk widened.

"Hey, Roxas."

The boy inched closer to Axel's cell and with one gloved hand pushed back the dark hood that hid his pink face. Roxas, a boy about 15 years of age, patted down the deep blonde spikes at the back of his head and took a couple more steps toward the bars. His face was pulled into a very serious expression. The Dusks, despite what they were told, stretched to the side for him to pass. Axel raised a thin eyebrow at Roxas as he drew closer.

"And what brings you here?" he asked, smugly.

Roxas' face sudden grimaced through the bars. "How in the hell did you get in there?"

Somehow, Axel took that as a sign of concern. He sighed roughly, not caring about this so called punishment, and turned back to the amethyst floor.

"I did my job. Remember that one mission I was gone at for a couple of months?"

Axel couldn't see, but Roxas had tightened his hands into fists not so much out of frustration at Axel's smug behavior but at the fact that Axel really had been gone for so long. He nodded lightly.

"You do something wrong?" he asked almost innocently. Hearing that tone made Axel let out another laugh.

"Wrong? Please. I don't consider it as wrong. _My_ job was to take down those that were plotting on completely altering this Organization. Marluxia, you remember him?" Axel nodded his head in Roxas' direction, still not turning away from the floor. The blonde slightly nodded again. Seeing Axel behind bars felt strange. He wondered how Axel could even _stand_ the humiliation of being confined.

Axel continued his "sad" story. "Along with Larxene he was planning on overtaking Xemnas in order to take full control over the Organization. So," he said with a sigh, "I had to step in and say that I wanted to be in on the action too."

Roxas' eyes rose at this and he leaned in closer to the bars. He backed up a bit when he felt a little tingle on his cheeks. "So?"

Axel smirked at his friend's curiousness. Really, it was a bit cute. He saved him the suspense. "But they weren't gonna let me in that easily, you know. I had to earn their trust."

"Weren't there other members with you at the castle too?"

Axel nodded quickly. "Yeah, yeah. Three of them in the castle basement. Zexion, Lexeaus and Vexen. It's through them that I got Marluxia's attention."

The younger Nobody's face scrunched up even more. His baby blue eyes were sparkling with interest. He'd never been a part of a major mission before and hearing about Axel's experience made him all the more excited to reach that level.

"How?" Roxas asked.

"First off, Vexen was already being an ass. He was about ready to defy orders when I eliminated him." As Axel spoke, Roxas swore that he could see a sadistic sparkle in those emerald eyes. He shivered half from that and half from the sudden rush of cold air in the pale white room. "But even after I got rid of him I figured that it wasn't enough to earn Marluxia's trust. And you know what I did?" The redhead sounded like he was boasting. "I had to get rid of the other two."

That's when Roxas' voice began to quaver a bit in disbelief. It was a surprise when he'd seen Axel return from the mission alone, but he didn't think that the others actually _faded_...and by Axel's doing.

"What about Marluxia? And Larxene? Them too?" His voice was so low and serious. He was sure that the Dusks would find a way to squeal on him.

Axel's head nodded nonchalantly a bit. "Them too. But not me. They were eliminated—" Axel's eyes suddenly forced open as if he'd come to a huge realization. He quietly and absently scanned the floor before he smiled again and shook his head. "They technically destroyed themselves, I guess." He nearly gave the secret away...

Roxas couldn't know about _him_.

The younger Nobody angled his head at Axel's sudden hesitation, but gave up on it and took a step away from the cell. For a second, Axel assumed that he was getting up to leave. He never expected that Roxas would begin guiding his eyes over the entire surface of the cells entrance..._looking_ for something. He stared at his friend long and hard; green, green eyes pausing occasionally to pick out detail after detail on the younger Nobody's features.

That was when Axel's curiosity set in and he turned his head toward the bars.

"Yo."

"Hm." Roxas was whispering things to himself again. He tended to do that a lot, especially when it came to missions. He liked to...over analyze things a bit. "So, why can't you just open a corridor and get out of there?"

Axel's thin eyebrows rose. Sure, he was rebellious, but he'd never think about going against the Superior's command of staying put. "Er—b-barrier," he stuttered uncaringly. "Saix...put it up." The bastard. Roxas just nodded once and continued to poke around the cell door.

"Know how to turn it off?" he asked nonchalantly as if he were a kid asking what someone's favorite color was.

"What's this leading to exactly?" Axel's voice rose slightly and before he asked again Roxas had taken a large step backward and had begun staring in the direct middle of the rows of humming bars.

Looking at Roxas was like peering through a window. There was always so much to see, so much to take in at once it was almost breath taking. No matter what kind of light he was in, no matter what time, it was always somewhat of a _pleasure_ to see something like him, something so _bright_, standing there in Axel's line of vision.

Roxas, in short, made Axel...feel hopeful. _Truly_ hopeful.

And Roxas was completely oblivious to these emotions in his friend as he tightened his fingers and felt warmth erupt between them. He concentrated all his thoughts on the intention to protect; the intention to save. By the time his head had cleared, in his right hand he held a long, key shaped weapon with which he held out before him.

Axel had seen the kid wield the Keyblade before. He'd seen Roxas fight with it and each time he did,

Roxas' face would retain a confused expression as if to ask: why do I _have_ this? He swore that he could feel the power of the blade pulsing against his skin, even being so far away from it.

Roxas rolled his shoulder back and took the golden handle with both hands. "Stay away from the bars."

At once, the Dusks squealed and began twitching violently. Both of them crossed over one another to block the bars that kept Axel captured. The redhead didn't budge and stared in bewilderment.

"Stay away from the door, Axel," Roxas repeated and as he did he brought the Keyblade down once to test it; to see it was prepared to work. When he felt a vibration run through his palms and up his arms, he once more gripped the handle and at once charged toward the cell. Upon hearing his friend's footsteps, Axel's eyes widened and he hastily moved to the back of the cell before a white light managed to touch him.

He no longer heard the Dusks squealing, he no longer felt the beating of the cell bars against his cheeks. Instead, that blinding light replaced all he saw, all he felt. The once dark room became flooded with warmth and tiny sparks of flame like light. He squinted up to the spot where he had seen Roxas charging toward the door and at that point the light had slowly begun to dissolve.

_"Come on. Let's get out of here_."

As Axel straightened, still squinting at the sight of light, his lips curved into a playful smile and his hands clapped together twice. "How'd it feel to complete a mission, Roxas?"

xxXXxx

Roxas stepped cautiously out of another corridor of darkness, following Axel who had earlier promised him another day's chat with Sea Salt Ice cream to accompany them. He'd do anything for that ice cream. And getting a chance to share words with Axel wasn't half bad either. With a tired sigh, he walked up to the edge of the clock tower and sat himself down. Axel followed shortly after.

"Getting pretty cold out," Axel said, squinting out at the blur of the sun in the partly cloudy sky.

Roxas stared out at the gloominess of the once sun baked city. It was awkward seeing such a place undergoing a season like winter. He suddenly began missing the summertime all over again.

"You sure you still want the ice cream? Wouldn't want you catching a cold or anything."

The younger Nobody's head rose and his eyes flashed Axel and look that made the redhead laugh out loud.

"I'm just kidding, geez." Still laughing, Axel reached to his side and pulled out two wrapped popsicles from a tiny bag. He handed the other to Roxas and yanked the white wrapper from his with his teeth, not hesitating afterward to take a huge bite out of it. "What a day...you'd think that being _loyal_ would earn me something good."

Roxas neatly took a lick from his ice cream. He pulled his hood in closer to the sides of his neck after a sharp breeze nipped at his ears. "He's not gonna think you're so loyal anymore."

Axel scoffed. "Doesn't matter. I was due out of there at the end of the day anyway." He took another bite out of the popsicle.

Another day, another mission completed. And finally Axel was back from his major mission to talk to him again. What really got Roxas confused was _why_. _Why_ did Axel bother to talk to him in the first place? What had sparked their meetings at the top of this tower and was it mere coincidence that they both happened to take a liking to the same ice cream? Roxas frowned down at his ice cream and gently hung it in between his dangling legs.

Below them was this small city: Twilight Town. Somehow he'd felt so connected to the place. He'd seen the kids run around together: laughing, teasing...he'd wanted to be a part of their play, to have his name called out to pass a ball or tag along to the beach. The town was filled with twisted streets and high rooftops. They were perfect places for anyone to run free. He still wanted to belong down there. To be included..._to be noticed_.

How did that feel?

"Rox?"

Roxas slowly looked up, but didn't turn his head toward Axel's voice. Instead he gazed at the lingering sun. The faint light of it reminded him of the very first thing he'd seen when he was born as a Nobody: his own name written before his eyes. The freezing cold that wrapped around the city reminded him of the first thing he'd felt when he was born: _nothing_.

"Roxas," Axel said loudly to get the kid's attention. He reached a gloved hand out and shook Roxas' shoulder hard. Roxas blinked and turned his head. "Quit spacing out on me like that. What's going on?"

There he goes again, Roxas thought. Asking me about how I am. Why did Axel bother? As he thought about it, Roxas noticed something white and soft fall in between their eyes. Both switched their gaze from each other toward the grey sky overhead.

"Snow," Roxas whispered, feeling a flake stick onto his eyelashes.

"Snow..." Axel muttered and spat when a couple of them landed on his face. He shook his head and shoved what was left of the popsicle in his mouth. "We should hurry up and get out of here before I get even more pissed off. _Stupid__ snow_."

Still, Roxas refused to touch his ice cream again and instead went on staring up at the tiny flakes that were slowly speeding up on their way down to earth. He didn't much care that they were getting in his eyes, on his cheeks, down his coat. Just seeing little things that were free like that...it was amazing. And he couldn't even be free like them. Sadly, he turned his head down and glanced down at the town which was now turning white.

"There you go thinking again."

"What?"

"You're thinking again," Axel said in between chewing his popsicle stick. He slid it out of his mouth and scooted in closer to Roxas. He leaned back and supported his weight on one hand. "There's a reason why we meet up on this tower all the time, you know."

Truthfully, Roxas wasn't sure now. He glanced at Axel in the corner of his eyes.

"It's ok to tell me stuff..." Axel mumbled. He really wasn't used to saying things so seriously.

"Axel," Roxas started in a low voice. He lifted up his ice cream and carefully set it atop the wrapper he'd laid out beside him. He suddenly wasn't hungry anymore. "About what you said earlier...about getting eliminated..."

"Uh-huh..."

"Does it...feel weird knowing that you're the one that Xemnas orders to kill?"

The question startled Axel a bit. He found himself turning his eyes down to stare at Roxas' face in uncertainty. His answer ended up coming out in a slow pace. "No...It never feels like anything to kill another Nobody. Actually, we don't _die_. I don't exactly know what happens to us, but that shouldn't concern you. My job shouldn't concern you."

"But it does." Roxas' head tilted and his blue eyes locked with his companion's. Suddenly the temperature dropped dramatically.

Maybe Axel had let the answer come out too fast. He tried again. "Ok, look...what is it about it that concerns you?"

"Just the whole fact about destroying them. I don't get it. Xemnas fully accepts them into the Organization then later decides it would be better if they returned to darkness all over again."

"Roxas, they were betraying—"

"And instead of him doing the work, he makes _you _do it."

"Yeah, but—"

"He's our leader, you know. The second he accepts us he should plan on keeping us despite difficulties. I mean, when a member becomes part of the Organization don't we literally devote our lives to reaching a goal? We all have the same goal set for us and I thought that we were all supporting each other to reach it. Xemnas should understand tha—"

"Xemnas doesn't understand as much as you do."

Roxas' head fully turned to face Axel. He was surprised to see how much his face had softened during their conversation. He almost felt sorry for making Axel become so emotionless.

"He doesn't give a _damn_ about togetherness, Roxas. In fact, neither do many of the other members. They wouldn't care if, in the end, Kingdom Hearts would only give a heart to two or three of us while the others end up disappearing. We're all selfish, you know?" He scoffed and smiled weakly. "And that's my reason for destroying them. Truthfully, I don't give a damn either. I'm _just_ as selfish as them."

Hearing those words coming from Axel made Roxas' chest pang. He wasn't sure, but he thought that those words were completely fake. How could Axel say that he didn't care? From where Roxas was standing, Axel was like his role model; a devoted member to the Organization. And what? In the end he wouldn't care if Roxas faded while he lived to accept a heart? He wouldn't care if he had to eliminate him?

"So there really is no reason for us meeting up here then, is there?"

"Roxas...hold up."

"It doesn't matter what we talk about. They go in one ear and come out the other anyway."

"I wouldn't've answered you if what you talked about didn't matter, Roxas." Axel had shifted his body when he noticed Roxas positioning to stand up. And just before the blonde had the chance to bring up his other leg, Axel had shot a hand out and gripped onto his shoulder. Roxas winced and felt himself being turned back around to face two blazing green eyes piercing right through him.

"Look, maybe I didn't word that correctly, alright?"

"It's ok, Axel. It's _fine_." Roxas glanced over his shoulder and at once a mix of amethyst and black emerged from the ground, sucking in the flakes of snow that were beginning to grow larger by the minute. "You wanted to go?"

Axel rolled his eyes and released Roxas' shoulder. He still stared at him directly in the eyes which kept Roxas pinned in place. "I didn't mean _everyone_ ok? I didn't mean to say that I'm willing to get rid of everyone to get what I want. You and I are like a team, right? We—"

"Given that Xemnas orders you to get rid of me one day...what're you gonna do?"

"Come on, that can't—"

"_What if_...it _did_ happen? What would you do?"

Frozen. Again. Axel slowly blinked and gazed out at the white town and the gloomy skyline. He thought long and hard about his answer, not wanting to consider the situation at all. Get rid of Roxas? Yeah, right. Never. He turned back and with narrowed eyes stared directly at Roxas again.

"This is the truth, ok? Given that he makes that order, which he won't, that'll be the first time that I'll betray an order in front of the Superior's face. That'll be the _first time _that I'll go against the Organization, alright?"

Roxas scoffed lightly, but really Axel's words managed to get to him. His chest stopped panging and instead he enjoyed the fact that a rush of warmth replaced it. That reassured him that he had a friend in the Organization. There was no way that such an event would happen. Axel would never betray. And neither would he.

And even though he still felt sketchy toward this job, this _friend_ of his, he felt that he had no other choice. Both were all he had.

And as he rested his head on Axel's shoulder and they continued to stare out at the frozen town, Roxas thought that maybe he and Axel would end up being those lucky two members that Kingdom Hearts would choose.

Yes. Yes, he was selfish.

xxXXxx

It was only sometime later that Roxas left; that Roxas betrayed. No solid goodbye was left for Axel. And it hurt. Axel felt that it hurt to lose Roxas that night. Roxas recalled seeing Axel behind bars only a few days earlier and how strange it was to see someone so strong being held against their will.

Such was Axel now. Under the rain (which he hated) just to watch Roxas go. He was confined all over again.

How strange was it that both would end up betraying and that neither were lucky enough to have a heart of their own.

Looking out a window can be unfair at times. What you see through the glass can be pure and true, but when blurred by rain, bars, snow...the images become distorted. Axel felt tricked. Looking at Roxas had been like looking out a window. He'd seen a friend. Roxas had seen the same in Axel. And in the end, both became indistinct to one another.

All they'd seen through that window, through each other, was darkness.

..Hearts just happen to do that to people sometimes.

* * *

**phew. that was fun! i watched a bit of POTC 1 again earlier tonight and, as usual, it got me in the mood to write nonsense. XP deal with it. it happens often. i'm just glad that i managed to actually FINISH a damn one shot! oi, now i need to get a couple more out of the way before i hurt myself.**

**anyways, what'd ya guys get fer the holidays? i gots me an iPhone. it's name is axel. XD oh, yes, i DID go there and name it. it's not red...but i'll hopefully find a case that'll make it look...axel-y. yeah. XD**

**i hope that you enjoyed this story. i tried going with a lighter akuroku theme on it. (sorry for you perverts out there, but if you're lookin' for some hardcore...-points to mah other stories- there you go, get down with your bad selves X3) i haven't written something so serious in a long time so i had to get this one out of the way. tons of emotions! gasp...emoness?**

**well, that was fun. gonna finish another tomorrow, i hope. -cricket- NIGHT NIGHT!!!!!**

**_-peeping through your window filmin' some pr0n- XD,  
kokoro77_**


End file.
